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autobiography .
knock my head

Jiasemi
"good times are even better
when they're shared"

"One day your life will flash before your eyes,
make sure its worth watching."

"love is shown by deeds, not by words"

Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards.

"death ends a life, not a relationship"

"for everything you have missed, you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain, you lose something else."

"Dreams have only one owner at a time.
thats why dreamers are always lonely.

night-chats .
express everything hidden

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legend .
your history is mine

  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • June 2010
  • July 2010
  • August 2010
  • November 2010


  • exist .
    the thing that makes exit

    001friends
    Illustrated
    the one behind this skin

    Designer:0102
    Codes:01 02
    Pictures:01
    Photofiltre 7.5

    Tuesday, August 31, 2010
    { written on 2:46 AM

    I can't believe I m still awake 
    Tossing and turning around in bed
    The past that kept me' raked
    Phrases appearing in my head
    Beside me my mom fuming in red

    Ignoring the ticking of the seconds 
    Neglecting the smooth turning of the minutes
    Treating hours with the skill of invisibility 

    Mom just wouldn't understand the struck of my insanity
    Phrases turning into line
    Tears flowing with undefined
    Breathing became harder to refine
    It's been long since I struck with such lines

    I m seizing this opportunity with all my might
    Even if it cause my life
    Being stuck would make me' hold a knife

    That's why I m writing this tonight 
    In case I no longer has any vibe 
    I m unable to understand your side
    As I ain't a guy
    But hopefully what I feel now is right!


    serpia { written on 2:10 AM



    Emo tonight
    No one to confide
    I will fight the night

    mood fluctuate as happiness retaliates
    you are no longer there to relate
    i dun think you know i am about to suffocate.

    friendship changes
    as patience ages
    space between us fell apart in more than inches
    It's me that brought about the rebellious
    it's me that caused the overwhelming emotions

    it hurts me to see you drift
    pains me to even breathe
    knowing memories would turn into dust
    whats left is a serpia past...

    Labels:



    Saturday, August 28, 2010
    The unspoken truth { written on 9:38 PM



    You asked for a phrase
    I came up with a poem
    A poem that spoke of your endless pain

    The droplets of rain depict those days
    Days you left me at bay
    With truths spoken your way
    eyes switching as emotions swayed
    dependency and security came in between the lane
    I felt like i was being tossed far away

    Predictions evolved into reality
    Characters fit in naturally
    I guess i was never part of your life in the very beginning.
    Habits seemed to be able to part so easily
    or is it just me
    holding onto the past so tightly
    treasuring every friendship so dearly

    Who cares even though rain continued flowing down from roofs.
    who cares even if your tears flooded numerous roads
    who cares even if you cried in pain claiming that you felt all alone
    Undeniable fact became so crude
    that even patience couldnt resolve this ignorant feud
    You wouldnt know what i feel
    cause i wouldnt speak of the unspoken truth

    i came up with this poem
    with tears to rejuvenate the lines
    causing pain to bind like vines
    sadness that became so divine

    i hope i came up with the perfect lies

    Labels:



    end of a chapter { written on 9:38 PM


    I hope that things could change
    where life doesnt have the end of page.

    Labels:



    Wednesday, August 18, 2010
    complexity { written on 12:50 AM


    Complication that twines within the simplicity.
    it portrays the depth of creativity
    with no one to understand such insanity.


    Wednesday, August 4, 2010
    inceptions { written on 2:10 PM



    Staring at a blank piece of paper
    Stuck in my own inception
    i couldnt help but be emotional
    Hoping i would be struck with an inspiration.
    Splash of ink stained the only hope of purification
    Perceptions that led to misinterpretation.
    Lies that reveal miscommunications.
    majority remains.
    Purity with stains you reign
    You may have the brains
    The ability to keep me hanging...
    behind those smiles, a facade that brought me bittersweet pain.

    Knowledge widens
    human relations brought upon disappointment
    It aint something i would have expected.
    every detail carries another definition.
    with me unable to get the right recognition.

    emotions bottled up filling to its brim
    tough enough to surpress it within
    with no one to understand the true meaning
    i made the extra effort.
    If roles were to revert
    i bet you would have grabbed your legs and turned your back against us.
    LOOK! i didnt
    i clenched my fist
    with pain to feast
    hoping someone would be there to ease.
    i was SO naive
    thinking that it would remain just like it used to be.
    staying at that very spot
    waiting.....hoping......
    one day it will end with a happy dot.


    perceptions { written on 10:18 AM



    Hopeless crossroad with pain to bear
    Heart thumping as if it's gonna tear
    If only someone bothered to care
    someone could tell me not to be scared
    i would then dare to take a breath
    But it seems like i am not supposed to even stare
    If i did, it would cause my death

    life is so unfair
    Just like the shapes between apples and pears
    Some showered with care
    Some pain much to bear
    The good and awesome ones are so rare
    which made it different from the rest
    life is just like that

    I am wearing the sorting hat
    Fate fell in the hands of that lad
    What can i do bout that
    Teach me something new
    so that i could at least be true
    Words became drools
    Filled in a pool
    i want to be cool
    i guess it's too hard to rule
    I am back at the crossroad with
    nothing to choose
    a future to lose

    It's a decision so divine
    that i could not keep up with time
    life is just like lime
    the bittersweet life of mine
    it's ever so prime
    i guess it's hard to define
    so let's just be nice
    and see whats there for thy.


    facades. { written on 10:08 AM



    I built walls on empty space
    so that people would not sense my pain
    Stairs added hoping to reach an aim
    endless journey made me insane
    i saw that face
    with eyes that gazed
    With smiles that portray real facades
    just let me be dead
    so that i will never get the chance to feel the pain

    However,
    Tears pouring down like rain
    Heart pounding like the churning of trains
    Worries accumulating like rice grains
    Smiles portraying the bittersweet pain
    i must be insane but i am tamed
    No mater how much i yearn for an embrace
    i knew it will never be replaced

    Someone told me i was no longer jasmine
    behind those facades i hope someone could find me.


    i'm sorry { written on 10:03 AM


    Taking a trip on my time machine
    Memories shine with pain unwind
    This familiar taste i dine tonight
    but somehow i could never make it right

    Friendship sailed away
    love is the price to pay
    your name would come up on my cell everyday
    but why is it not today

    I wish upon every star
    but i guess you werent the one
    how i wish to say
    i like you in every way
    but why make me choose between either way




    crossroads { written on 9:58 AM



    Hopeless crossroads with pain much to gain
    who can i blame
    The pillar of strength slowly diminish
    with work unfinished
    What can i do to even deceive
    hiding real emotions
    Making life torturous
    I am just a coward
    Unable to voice my emotions
    hopeless
    Helpless
    effortless
    Grit my teeth
    bear the pain
    Its time to move on....


    Tuesday, August 3, 2010
    a pain i cant express { written on 8:50 AM


    The sweetness of our pure friendship
    is ruined within your confessions
    and my constant rejections.